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Its 11 O’clock and I want to sleep, but…

February 4, 2010

it’s 11 o’clock, and i want to sleep, but… there’s nothing that lets me.

.

if i close my eyes, i feel like i’m floating. but it’s not a dreamy floating. i can’t sleep.

there’s noises outside. magnified by the silence. it’s too quiet to sleep. it’s too noisy.

.

if i try counting sheep, they jump too high, and buck and leap… crazy-like. it doesn’t help. i can’t sleep.

these sheep come to haunt my dreams. they change into strange shapes, smoggy and blue.

they seem so familiar, but before i can place them, they’re gone… deeper into the fissures of my subconscious mind.

.

i try to imagine a story in my head. one with a happy ending. but my mind can’t stick to one face.

i can’t imagine. i’m too exhausted.

.

then i finally doze off…

someone turns on a light somewhere. i can hear the water running in the other room.

the light in my closed eyes, behind my closed lids turns brown, then red.

i don’t look, not wanting to show that i’m still awake.

someone peeps into the room, and then walks away, closing the door softly.

.

i fumble under my pillow and pull out my cellphone.

3:15 am

lol. it’s after 3. the time of demons and sprites is gone. sitting up in bed the blanket slipping off my shoulders, i look around the room.

moonlight makes shadows across the walls. i feel tiny goosebumps rising up on my arms.

and it’s not even cold. my eyes burn a little.

.

I turn on Vanilla Sky and try to fall asleep.

the dreams come more quietly this time…

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One Comment leave one →
  1. September 26, 2010 7:39 pm

    oh i can totally relate to such nights… :/

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