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On Pre-Marital Sex

March 25, 2010

In reply to someone who said that the rape of a 12 year old child (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/12-yr-old-raped-by-neighbours-cousin-since-08/articleshow/5714015.cms) has nothing to do with premarital sex and our society’s view of it.
I agree with you when you say that other ‘open’ societies would have a lower rate of child rape, sexual abuse etc. And our country does need stricter rules to ensure that such filth it given the treatment it deserves. But at the same time, pre-marital sex and how it is viewed by our society does also play a role.
As we start to accept pre-marital sex (and sex in general) as something that isn’t taboo, the hush-hushness of it all will slowly stop. As this stops, parents, schools, educationists, doctors will find it easier to talk about sex education without fearing being labeled ‘bad’ or ‘dirty’. (imparting sex education, for example, won’t be considered the same as showing a blue film) With this, children will be less afraid, and more aware, and won’t be afraid of talking to their parents if they’re abused or threatened.
Also, if a girl is raped the societal pressure won’t be enough to make her want to commit suicide, or, as in the case above, succumb to blackmail. And society does put pressure. If a girl isn’t a virgin or has been raped, she is dirty, loose, probably ‘deserved it’ for dressing revealingly. The child was terrorised, because the men blackmailed her. Would they have been able to, if she had her parents and society’s support?
Today our society is slowly changing to ‘accept’ that personal relationships are nobody’s concern. But it will probably take ages for such changes to seep into every segment of society. And till then, we will still hear of  “She’s been in a relationship before?! How will she get married then?”
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One Comment leave one →
  1. liberalcynic permalink
    April 15, 2010 6:11 pm

    Ideally, to prevent crimes of force against women in general, acts of choice in a woman’s life should not be illegal. E.g. a prostitute cannot complain to the police about a customer who tortured or mutilated her for fear of being exploited by police. Same goes for premarital sex: the moment the stigma shrouding it is removed, we can all talk about it and stay safe. Crimes against women will reduce when society (including parents) teaches young girls to respect their bodies and do whatever they (and only they) want with them.

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