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Escape

May 1, 2010

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

They lived in an old style haveli in an old part of the city.

The city was grey, the haveli was golden brown. It stood on a small lane, the two front steps leading right down to the road.

There was always a smell of dust in the air.

She lived with her old style parents, and aunts, and uncles, and grandparents, and cousins.

She had a brother, eight years younger, who everyone adored. And six cousins. She was the oldest.

She went to an old-fashioned school, where tired cranky nuns taught the girls to be  young women, and spread the word of god.

She’d never met a boy who wasn’t a relative, near or distant. She felt incredibly shy even at the thought.

But she’d read about them.

At the old house the old re-done cement floors were always cool. She would find a quiet corner (not an easy task, i can assure you!) to sit and read. One book she loved was Eight Cousins. She could identify with Rose.

But she could never really read for long.

Today, a Sunday, school was off.

The smell of dust was still in the air, but it was damp.

Dark clouds covered the rectangle of sky over the courtyard.

It was afternoon, almost everyone was asleep.

She was sitting in on the parapet, feeling the breeze stroke softly at her cheek, the feel of her dupatta tugging gently at her shoulder.

A few drops fell, then a few more, and then the shower began.

She rose hurriedly to get under the chajja, escape the rain. But something held her back.

She was already soaked through… why not…

*

Nobody saw her in that one moment of escape. Nobody saw her dance.

Except a little eight year old boy.

And he kept her secret.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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22 Comments leave one →
  1. May 1, 2010 11:01 pm

    A very different setting and made very interesting reading!! Liked the Picture woven into the story..
    All the Best for B-A-T!!

    • May 1, 2010 11:26 pm

      Thanks! :D

  2. May 1, 2010 11:35 pm

    It was a different and interesting read…

    All the best for BAT 10

  3. May 2, 2010 2:04 am

    loved the feel of this story :)
    beautifully narrated :)

  4. May 2, 2010 11:14 am

    lovely narration.. i felt a bit of poetry in ur prose too.. wonderful!

    By Leo:
    Escape

    • May 2, 2010 11:06 pm

      Well said Leo, I too felt a bit of poetry in this prose :)

  5. May 2, 2010 1:20 pm

    Certainly wanted to read a bit more..the scene construction was nice..and the story was gaining momentum..

  6. May 2, 2010 3:19 pm

    nice one :)
    simple and subtle :)

  7. May 2, 2010 7:02 pm

    Nicely written. Without the extra details, you managed to put up a good story that I personally think worth reading.

    Sureindran R. – Escape

  8. May 2, 2010 7:57 pm

    Nice narration. Settings built up beautifully. Nice sweet little ending. From such a family these little things seem like such a great escape. welcome to Blog-a-Ton

  9. May 2, 2010 11:05 pm

    Beautiful!! So much said so simply. Loved it! Hope she dares a little more, and dreams a little too..

  10. May 3, 2010 1:43 am

    It was very cute story. :)

    Cheers!
    Nethra

  11. May 3, 2010 3:51 am

    Beautiful story with a hint of poetry that made it shine :)
    It’s my first visit to your blog and I am glad to be here.

    Keep up the good work :)

    Best wishes for BAT :D

  12. dmanji permalink
    May 3, 2010 12:04 pm

    Lovely thought and so simple yet beautiful narration…. keep posting such nice pieces :)
    Cheers
    Dhiman

  13. Karan permalink
    May 3, 2010 9:59 pm

    i liked the story
    i identify with it living in a joint family and me being the oldest cousin

  14. May 5, 2010 10:08 pm

    A very sweet story indeed. Loved the ending to the core. Didn’t really know one can even make such an impact with a few words like this. Too good. :)

    All the best!

  15. May 5, 2010 10:21 pm

    beautiful story and exceptionally written! all the best for BAT! :)

  16. May 6, 2010 1:19 pm

    So cute.. a love story in such small words.. described very well. Just loved it. One of the best entries. :)

  17. May 6, 2010 5:52 pm

    Simple and sweet :)

  18. May 7, 2010 1:13 am

    Anothr short story, not saying mch bt still conveying a lot.. nice piece of fiction thr.. likd it :)

  19. May 7, 2010 10:30 pm

    hey that was short and interesting!
    :~)
    ALl the best for BAT

  20. May 8, 2010 10:59 am

    hey this is awesome… :-) liked it, really did…

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