I am a little scared of you. Infact I have always been scared of you since I was little -afraid of what you would look like. U are always so unpredictable – an enigma. But then this plethora of feelings is what makes you even more exciting. I love not knowing you and to keep guessing what you would turn out to be like.
So what does change look like? Are you the same me…or a different person? Do you still save twilight wallpapers on your laptop as you are now? Or probably you are laughing at them now.
As for me, remember I had all these friends, my brood of articulate, glamorous, cultured intellectuals…are they walking with you or are they miles ahead of you now? We promised to love each other and not loose contact. But now do they turn their heads when u wave at them and just ignore you? Well I hope you have become a girl others cannot ignore… Do you still get that euphoric feeling of being back to college? Do you get that feeling of satiety shouting “my college rocks!!!” Do u still feel lucky and blessed to have been here and not anywhere else? I hope all your hopes have come true. I hope you could get that much wanted foreign scholarship. I hope you did make your parents proud of you as promised…are your parents still the universe around whom your life revolves? Hope so. Hope you have got over your ego problem. Hope you still enjoy those little beautiful moments in your life – the clear blue skies, a walk with your friends in the college corridors, laughing on silly jokes. Hope you are helping as many people as you can. Hope you still help your mom in her housework. Hope people still remember you by your name. Hope you are in a better position than I am now. Hope you are the future I wanted.
Now whatever you have become learn to accept yourself the way you are, whether you are too fat- or too short learn to live with it. Now no more excuses of “I can’t do it” or “I am not good enough”. Remember to love the moment you are living in. Be grateful to God for everything he has given you. Learn to live without your parents, without the reassuring feeling at the end of the day that they are with you. You have to and you can. Make it your motto. Remember all that your teachers have taught you and the strength they imbibed in you. Stop wishing on the last day of your holidays if it could go on forever. Don’t miss out the small prizes in your life- the moment your parents are proud of you, the smile of the ones you love.
You are so much like me as I am now– always so hopeful but never too didactic. Always so scrupulous and morally – abiding. We are so much alike, yet we are different. I have spent my days being scared of you. But now you won’t. Don’t be scared of what has not even happened. Don’t be scared of future-me. Live in present-me and your future-me won’t have any problems.
Hoping to meet you soon,