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Shivika Saxena – First Prize

Dear Mom, Dad, Sis, Special Someone

I don’t know which world I belong to. I don’t know what sent me here. I don’t even know whether you’ll get a chance to read this letter but I am still writing it because I know one thing that if some day suddenly I am taken away from all the people I love, I would really regret it to embark upon a different world with a heavy heart. Life is too colossal to present in a nut shell but I am a person of ‘last words’ and detaching from this beautiful world without being able to say something to everyone I care about is something that will make my heart die again. I was never good at goodbyes but I cannot make my final goodbye so dry that even my memories begin to wither. Today I write as a youthful 18 year old with millions of ambitions to achieve, thousands of things to discover, countless experiences to make and I don’t know what stage of life I will be at when god will decide to call me back but the emotions I share for the people I love will continue to be the same.

Mom I know I couldn’t be the best daughter to you (I hope I had improved though) but the way you have made the individual I am today is what I cherish the most. I always tried to make you proud and do things so that your heart smiles softly, to thank you for all the pains that you took for me and all the things that you sacrificed for me. The loss of her child for a mother is the gravest pain ever to be known and no matter what I write here I know for a fact that nothing will be able to sew your broken heart back again but still my final words to the person I first opened my tiny eyes to in this world would be that, sometimes I made you cry sometimes I misunderstood you sometimes I refused to accept that you meant well for me sometimes I made you laugh on my silly things and sometimes I got you worried but on every step of my life you made me believe that others will take me as a person that I want them to see me as. We had our arguments mom but never did I ever forget to thank god for such a wonderful soul that he had given me for a mom. I may be far away from you now but still I need you to help me through my journey into the next world. Hold me close to you mom and I promise I won’t let your tears fall.

Dad you are the best idol a child could wish for. You are so perfect in all your deeds and I always wanted to be as perfect as you are and I wish I must have been able to reach at some level.  You were always the silent caretaker in my life. You never asked for

anything and were always ready to fulfill any demand even before we expressed it. You stood there firmly when we stumbled and picked us up when we fell. I was always filled with pride whenever anyone mentioned you. You nurtured us well and made us able to stand on our own two feet. I just want to say that dad I love you and no matter where ever I go my heart will always call out to you.

Sister is someone with whom you gossip like a friend, who scolds you like a mother, who advices you like a dad and who cares for you like a best friend. I know I irritated you and always gave you a hard time but I also made you smile on my silliness. You are like my twin soul and without you my life would come to a halt but I want you to be strong and take good care of mom and dad. Now you are the only reason for them to look forward to in their lives. Comfort them and make them feel like I will always be around. Before departing I would like to ask you for a favor.  Live your life twice of what you used to as I want to be alive through you.

In life you always need a person who speaks to your soul and with whom your entire world seems beautiful. I don’t know how you look, I don’t know whether I found everything I were wished for in my soul mate and I don’t even know when did I meet you or was I so unfortunate to not even have met you but I know one thing that if I knew you then you must have become so close to me in a few years and my heart would have loved you for everything you are without expecting or demanding anything as for me love was always patient, selfless and kind. If I have died young then I wish I have not met you yet because I don’t want to cause pain to another person so dear to me. I don’t want to be the reason for your tears and the one to make your life completely bereft of love. I hope I was able to make your life beautiful for whatever time I was in it. I want you to keep your heart open for love again as I feel only true love can heal up the pain that it causes.

Now with this letter written I can go with a free heart and mind leaving all the adversities and feeling liberated from all the pain and disappointments but I cannot help but feel heavy hearted as this world has given me something that is invaluable, it has taught me to love.

With lots of love

Your daughter, Sis, Special someone

7 Comments leave one →
  1. January 19, 2011 12:39 pm

    So touching!

  2. January 19, 2011 2:57 pm

    Very moving… the girl speaks for all of us.. what we feel and even what we don’t realise that we feel… makes me want to write a letter too and store it off somewhere…

  3. January 19, 2011 10:08 pm

    Very very touching and very well written!

  4. flyawaygirl permalink
    January 19, 2011 11:40 pm

    I wish I could express myself like your daughter. so very poignant. loads of love n hugs

  5. January 20, 2011 4:50 am

    Loved it and makes me wish once again; how I should have shown my mom how much I love her.

    Congrats to the winner for such a beautiful and loving letter.

  6. January 20, 2011 10:29 am

    That’s a beautiful letter , very well written and so poignant ! Well done Shivika .

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