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On Growing Old and Dying Early…

February 23, 2010

Today at college, i was talking to a Ms C who is a little ill.

Now she’s a bit of a workaholic, and today, hadn’t slept for two days (pro’lly won’t sleep for a few days more.) She is also a bit of a prodigy.

Well, i say, “i think you should go get some sleep, or you’ll be even more ill and as you grow older, it could get much worse.” (yes, very grandma-ish!)

and her reply:

“i don’t plan to/ think i’ll live beyond 35. (so it doesn’t really matter). i’ll have experienced all there is to experience by that time.”

It shocked me a little, actually. And i don’t know why.

I know she’s a huge cynic, and is very intelligent ( are all intelligent people cynics? O.o).

But  i never really saw that coming from her.

Ms. C gives the impression that she’s smart, and hardworking, and puts her heart and soul into EVERYTHING she does almost to the point of obsession. When most people would prefer to sleep till late on a saturday morning, she’s the type who’d be up and awake, not wanting to lose a single moment. She seems like such a passionate person. And the thought that someone who has SO much going for her could be so negative (for want of a better word) is a little… scary? It’s like she’s just going to throw that all away…

And she’s in her late 20’s! There’s so much more to be seen and done!

I don’t consider myself to be too much of an optimist. Honestly, i can be a little fatalistic sometimes. But i do hope to live for a very very long time (wouldn’t mind being immortal too!). This world is so HUGE and i want to see as much of it as possible and experience all that i can!

I really don’t know why this is bothering me so much though. She probably didn’t really mean it. Maybe it’s just something she says for… dramatic effect! :P

And even if it isn’t… :S

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37 Comments leave one →
  1. August 13, 2010 4:10 pm

    I want to cry on reading this now… :(

  2. August 13, 2010 5:32 pm

    Reading this broke my heart :-( RIP, beautiful girl.

  3. subra permalink
    August 14, 2010 4:24 pm

    Have a lump on my throat now reading this site..
    Why is life so unfair.

  4. Rhea permalink
    August 14, 2010 6:31 pm

    God Bless u sweetheart, i feel so helpless inside! Jus be at peace! Ur going to heaven baby, God needs people like u up there! Love you! :)

  5. August 14, 2010 6:32 pm

    oh my teju.. u fancied living long hanh?! thats really bad… i feel terrible reading this… n i also feel bad that none of us spotted your blog earlier… rest in peace lil one…

  6. August 15, 2010 1:17 am

    i hope there’s a thing called “the next life” and Tejaswee comes back and lives a long , beautiful, amazing life…..

    can only wish… the way we all wished for her recovery some days back.

    Unfair… :(

  7. Paawun permalink
    August 17, 2010 6:35 pm

    This one….is uncanny maybe

  8. August 18, 2010 11:01 am

    I hope we get u bk soon. I certainly want to meet u! God bless!

  9. Indy permalink
    August 20, 2010 7:17 pm

    You live, sweetheart, in our hearts!

  10. August 26, 2010 2:00 pm

    This world is such an ironical place…made me cry..

  11. Punya permalink
    August 27, 2010 11:50 pm

    RIP.. your an inspiration

  12. August 30, 2010 1:15 am

    this is heart breaking :( wish u a long after life! i dont believe in this ..bt right now that is all i want to be true- life after death!

  13. vilashni (malaysia) permalink
    September 13, 2010 6:05 pm

    you made a difference … tejaswee… really touched many lives!!! may ur soul RIP…

  14. Padmaja permalink
    October 15, 2010 5:03 am

    Been reading this blog since morning. Feels like I know her now. Its so unfair for a young life to end so abruptly. I wish her soul peace and her parents strength. You must be God’s favorite that he couldn’t bear to stay away.

  15. December 5, 2010 8:58 pm

    I breaks my heart ;(

  16. suraj permalink
    March 31, 2011 2:21 am

    guys i really dnt knw wat 2 say, but i can jus say dat at times when such things happen u feel dat god is soo unfair, der r people who wish dey die, who hate der lives, people with no goals in der life….. nd people who wanna live, hav certain goals in der life’s, who wanna live in dis selfish world with a positive apporach, die…. bt i know nothing is in our hand, i just wanna say dat may ur soul rest in peace, n may u b immortal in ur nxt birth… amen…

  17. August 24, 2011 8:27 pm

    Tejaswee you touched my life, I dont know you but I love you, and I know your soul started another journey in the world, in another beautiful body with another beautiful dreams.Wonderful woman you are,yes you are because you never died, you are here with us!Bless you, I know that if you were still here we would have been great friends.You cute brain girl, even after your dying you inspire people, you beautiful human!

  18. October 29, 2011 2:32 am

    Life is really ironic…. makes me want to worry less about insignificant things now…..
    hugggs pretty girl!!! May you RIP.
    but what happened to you??? Im searching for any posts which can tell me that :(

  19. October 29, 2011 4:01 pm

    TJ… You are simply awesome girl… Though you are younger to me and your physical presence is no longer in this world i wish i could be closer with you and share my good and bad as a lovable sissy… I just love you so much… I am reading your blogs and about you this whole day which made me move in close towards you and your attitude… We both have a few things in common… Though i am not able to make my dreams come true i wish i would at-least make a similar wish of ours “To adopt a girl child” come true… Hope you’ll be guiding me through for doing this soon… Do RIP little sissy… Love you!!!

  20. January 18, 2012 3:59 pm

    I felt like I had been punched in the stomach on reading this one….. :-|

  21. February 10, 2012 8:35 pm

    I dont know what to say….and can’t believe that the one who wrote this post is no more….life is unfair….don’t know why though.

  22. March 16, 2012 4:35 pm

    At times like these, I wish and hope stuff like reincarnation and next life exists because people like Tejaswee deserve to come back and live a bloody amazing life!

  23. April 5, 2012 11:43 am

    There is something very deep about this narration. It perplexed me!

    I life meant to be planned? If yes, how much of it is to be planned?

  24. October 19, 2012 6:39 pm

    I wish it was all unreal……………. this tragedy makes all our ordeals, sadness and troubles look insignificant….. RIP dear friend !

  25. Bhagi permalink
    May 22, 2013 11:17 am

    Tejaswee dear, it is hard to digest the fact that you are no more. But you are immortal and will live in my heart forever. You have touched so many lives. RIP, little girl!

  26. July 27, 2013 1:17 am

    One awesome blog !! loved it !! RIP dear !!

  27. October 16, 2013 7:15 pm

    have been reading all your posts tejasvi .you are an inspiration <3 i hope somewhere on this earth you are living on….

  28. January 6, 2015 11:55 am

    One of those rare posts which make me go speechless. Thanks for sharing :)

Trackbacks

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